A young girl learns how to cook in the family compound in Burkina Faso, West Africa.
A young girl learns how to cook in the family compound in Burkina Faso, West Africa.

Not long in the past, the nuclear family was heralded as the beacon of stability and harmony all around the world. People were once strongly encouraged to maintain two-parent, husband/wife families with children—even in the neoliberal, globalist west. The advent of the single mother-headed household, which later appeared in the west, was at first frowned upon and labeled a problem that needed to be fixed. Having children out of wedlock to unmarried parents was similarly stigmatized. Though currently it appears that much of this discourse has disappeared in the west, and perhaps the single-mother headed household is being exported to the rest of the world as a positive social change; as a non-governmental activism for women’s rights.

Today we live in an era in which the majority of people who subscribe to neoliberal ideas want to impress upon the world certain notions that claim that the nuclear family structure, and also by implication, the extended family, is no longer conducive to having a successful, stable society.

We are told that family structures are not monolithic, but varied. So variegated that there are as many family structures as there are drops of water in the ocean. The neoliberal claim from the western puppeteers about these newly-minted ideas about the family include deliberate casting of “diversity” as a non-zero sum advantage for modern societies over traditional ones. None of these family structures is correct or ideal, but together they are correct and ideal. None is privileged over another, but together they manifest privilege on one another. That is, these family structures are all perfectly reasonable and valid, when taken together.

Notice the neoliberal appeal to “togetherness.” This means that when a single-mother of a single-mother headed household needs her lawn taken care of by pushing a loud mechanical mower, the single man living in the basement of the next New York apartment complex, should drop his afternoon search for a suitable wife and relinquish his time to tame the single-mother’s lawn. These such acts of afternoon-togetherness, even in lawn-care, in sum, result invariably in stable, more “diverse” societies. This is at least the gist of the neoliberal claim.

Consequently, we uplift singlehood and single mothers, especially those of African or non-European descent, such that they come to believe they no longer comprehend the value or importance of their own strong men, families, and communities. Women and girls are concertedly cultivated right from Day Care through Kindergarten and High School to strive for independence. Women and girls are told that they can do bad all by themselves, that they are strong and have magical powers, that they require no man that is yoked to them to flourish. Women who espouse these ideologies vocally, proudly, and visibly set themselves on the fast track to wealth in western societies, because they become the mouthpieces through which other women and girls can be indoctrinated in the same coin—to learn that separation from their men, families, and communities provides the best path to ultimate happiness, success, and prosperity. 

We are told there are many ways to the process of making babies. A woman, or even a man for that matter, does not need anyone else to make babies when the assistance of institutions is always near for consultation and support—of course, for a fat fee and a pound full of pain. We uplift people who do not want to form families, and we dissuade them from the traditional, straightforward means to accomplishing the stable society they desire, and instead we encourage them to turn to artificial, technological processes of surrogacy, in vitro fertilization, or sperm insemination. These western puppeteers genuflect with grand orgasms that, “It is never too late to have a baby.” They impale their detractors on the high swords of capital consumerism to present the bowel remains of their victims as Hermes purses, Louis Vuitton luggage bags and crocodile, red bottom stilettos. Nature, they claim, is nothing but a thing to consume and dominate. There is no nuclear family that should dictate our choices. There is no biological clock that should dictate our timelines. We have advanced beyond all of those constraints. The nature of this neoliberal idea runs deeply within the same bloody veins of colonial capitalism—the outright, unquestioned domination of anything, even the natural ideas, on the planet!

Men, as a group, are also targeted. If you look at western societies, there is a focus on dismantling the image and productivity of the male, especially one who is African. This dismantling of his image aims to persuade Black women that their men are irresponsible, lazy, indiscipline, toxic, violent, and abusive good-for-nothings. This attack aims to convince women that they are worth so much more than their men, and they are much better off without these good-for-nothing men who weigh them down like anchors on their heels, and thus these women are enticed to delay or worse, to cease having children and meaningful relationships with their men. Now, what could be more convincing then, while this attack is underway, to deprive the men of desirable work, jobs, education, housing, and other opportunities that would make them not only productive men, but also attractive to their women? What could be more convincing then, while this attack is underway, to tell the women that the kind of man she should desire possesses the exact polar opposite qualities than those of the average man?

In summary, women are everything. They are queens. They are smart, beautiful, funny, and charming. They are queens. They can make babies and have babies without the need for men. Did I mention they are queens? On the other hand, men are nothing. They are parasites who are in constant search for mothers to take care of them. Men are pigs. Although in their own CDC iteration of this myth, the same Black Men happen to spend more time than any other group of men in the USA in the social cultivation of their own children. It is no wonder then why, according to this neoliberal myth outside the scope of the evidence, that the nuclear family is fabricated as only benefiting the men who have everything to gain from leeching off of women. Still, as they make the spurious claim that the traditional nuclear family is the number one constraint to women’s progress, happiness, success, and prosperity, the number one statistical predictor, according to their own state-funded institutions, of family wealth and of children’s success in the neoliberal west remains the nuclear family. The nuclear family, as framed by these neoliberals, may be a lot of “bad” things, but it is certainly not holding even the most rapacious, masculine boss chick from an elevated wellbeing and success.

But who does this politics of “Miss Independent” benefit; this vehement attack on the nuclear family? Why the sudden shift in norms concerning what is good and normal and proper for our cultures? This change in tone has happened because of the recognition of the danger of strong nuclear families to the global racial status quo: the nuclear family in Africa and in the African Diaspora is the single most important existential threat to white supremacism everywhere.

This is the exact reason why the ideology is particularly interested and invested in converting Black women to stomp on their own men, and thus to trample their nuclear families under foot. It is not an ideology, contrary to what the scholars of Black Feminism would like their readers to believe, that is striving to uplift Black women from their tiny crevices of “intersectional oppression” at the hands of everything else on the planet, up to and including their own grandmothers who dare to give their hands in marriage! White supremacism, the western belief in their own mythological preeminence and their pursuit of control over every crevice in the world, is the sole beneficiary of the destruction of families and communities everywhere else. White supremacism requires the destruction of families, even including their own families, that is, if it is to ever reign supreme as the world’s dominant empire.

White supremacism embodies many aspects, but most important that western Europeans (and European women) and Euro-Americans (including Euro-American women) control the world’s governance. White supremacism means that western Europeans and Euro-Americans are the world’s policemen, judges, juries, executioners, bankers, farmers, grocers, jewelers, propagandists, pharmacists, and all the rest. You name it, they run it—the EU, NATO, USAFRICOM, the G7, the IMF, the World Bank, the UN, etc. And such hegemony is only possible with the destruction of the family units, from one culture to the next. Because only strong families can form strong communities and only strong communities can tackle a mythology as damaging and suffocating as white supremacism.

The lies we are told about the nuclear family, about men and women, only operate to buttress the stronghold that white supremacism has on societies. The nuclear family attack aims to annihilate the family structure to make us all individuals, who without our strong families and communities are powerless to outside pressures of control. We should all praise and cherish the nuclear family, especially in Africa and in the African Diaspora, because its longevity maintains our resolve, at the very least, to continue in our revolution against the pure Satanism of white supremacism.

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I am Amara. I come from a long line of griots (jalis). My grandfather was central in my upbringing. He comes from a tradition of oral history immersed in the vast expanse of time and the pageantry of customs and rituals. But, I have come to learn the reality of the ways of the griot in the 21st Century. I became a Scribe at Grandmother Africa for exactly this reason - to keep a tradition going, in a different medium. If you enjoyed this essay and would like to support more content like this one, please buy me a cup of coffee in support of my next essay, or you can go bold, very bold and delight me. Here's my CashApp: $AMARANEFETITI


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