Deliver Us, Oh Allah, From the Sea of Anencephalus Homunculus Intellectuals (A.H.I.s)

Homunculi are human alright: legs, arms, chest, abdomen and yes of course, a head. But they aren’t quite fully formed. They are humans who, as one folklore in Ghana goes, having accidentally fallen through the hand of their maker are not quite suited for life.

But in the ancient alchemical context, God is not the only one who makes these kinds of mistakes. Humans can also create homunculi through a process called Takwin. This is however an intentional mistake or you may call it an artificial creation of human life in the laboratory. Here is a process used in 1537:

“The sperm of a man is putrefied by itself in a sealed cucurbit for forty days with the highest degree of putrefaction in a horse’s womb, or at least so long that it comes to life and moves itself, and stirs, which is easily observed. After this time, it will look somewhat like a man, but transparent, without a body. If, after this, it be fed wisely with the Arcanum of human blood, and be nourished for up to forty weeks, and be kept in the even heat of the horse’s womb, a living human child grows therefrom, with all its members like another child, which is born of a woman, but much smaller.”

Do not try this at home. The result here is a variant of the homunculus.  Note that the proverbial fall here is rather carefully planned—which is what colonial terrorists who occupy other people’s lands, by force to loot it, love to do. They build temples and classrooms of horse wombs where they putrefy the children of traditionalists from age six until these children complete a university indoctrination in their mid-twenties.

After this time, the child will look somewhat like an intellectual, but transparent, without a brain—particularly an Anencephalous Homunculus Intellectual (A.H.I.). The neural defect of AHIs are almost always incompatible with an infant’s survival. But if, after the AHI is formed, it be fed wisely with the material goods of his own land, and be nourished until he receives a PhD, or be kept in the even heat of temples, classrooms and air-conditioned offices, a living new African grows therefrom, with all its members like a real African, who is born of his own traditions and cultures, but nonetheless brainless.

Rather than a brain what an AHI has inside its head is another homunculus—the internal viewer, basically another ‘little man’ located in the brain-space and ‘looking’ and ‘interpreting’ everything that the AHI sees, feels, smells, hears and tastes. That is, the AHI himself is not cognitive, but there’s a cognitive homunculus inside his head to do the thinking for him. Of course, this is also intentional. The colonial makers of AHIs do not allow them to think for themselves. Even if one looked inside the ‘little man’ in his head one would find another ‘little man’ inside the former to do its thinking, ad infinitum. The only way this infinite regress is grounded to make any sense is that, at some point along the chain, the ‘little man’ becomes cognitive because he is the Cartesian soul of his colonial maker or the infinite consciousness of his colonial God.

In short, the AHI cannot think unless his colonial maker thinks for him. This is important. The AHI’s cognition is rule bound. His thoughts are simply the manipulation of colonial algorithms, and this is one of the key features of his artificial intelligence.

What we see across Africa, from Ghana to South Africa to Kenya, is the inner circle of AHIs: accountants, doctors, lawyers, engineers, bankers, sociologists… and historians. That class of paternalistic semi-intellectual experts with various degrees from the University of Ghana, KNUST, and if they are lucky, some Ivy-League, Oxford-Cambridge, or a similar brand-driven education, who have been lifted from our midst by the British or French Terrorist Occupation Cartel Educational Systems of yesteryear and now, and having be indoctrinated with an even heat over the Arcanum of plantation terrorism are carefully imposed on the rest of us, as our leaders.

These AHIs parrot to the rest of us what they have read in books and what they have been taught in the temples and the classrooms. They tell us (1) what to do, (2) how much to pay in taxes, (3) what degrees to attain, (4) what language to speak, (5) and how to speak it, (6) where to fish, (7) what to farm, (5) where Heaven is located… and (6) how to choose the next AHI for a leader.

But the problem is that after the British Terrorist Cartel finally left the Christiansborg Castle in Ghana, we have allowed the AHIs they bred, the domestic clerks they educated for their arms-length-terrorism, to continue to use the same implements, the same rote learning and the same parroting to terrorize the rest of us for sixty years and counting. All, on top of the more than two hundred years of suffering at the hands of their slave-raiding primogenitors.

The problem is that AHIs have inherited a system that produces more AHIs to add to their rank and file. It is almost like a self-replicating system. These elite AHIs can work out complex riddles at the back of the chapter in an advanced book of science or accounting much like a fine algorithm machine does, but can’t tell the difference between a cocoa pod and a pawpaw, meaning that they aren’t noetic enough to define the intelligence in the book chapter. Hence, they fall into the traps and riddles at the end of the chapter of the Neo-Terrorist Cartels of the West and The Evangelical State of Anglo-America (TESA).

Nonetheless these high-class AHIs have a valuable skill—routinized work. Their main talent is the capacity to pass hard exams written by people much like themselves. They have profound mastery of the classroom: with science exams that replicate almost ninety percent of Darwin’s theory; with history that withdraws its “sentience” after four hundred years of calling Africa “dark;” with macroeconomic analysis of ordinary cassava farming that falls flat in the face of ordinary evidence like a wild deck of astrology cards. AHIs have mastered idly standing down when a sovereign nation in their own organization of unity is invaded and its leader sodomized with a knife; and finally, they have the capacity to parrot yet again the value to the “dark” continent of Monsanto’s chemicals and new GMOs, which have been proven by people, not homunculi, to do the exact opposite of what AHIs have been programmed to think that it doesn’t.

Traditionalists on the other hand, who reside in our villages, who are perfectly suited to be informed by their own ancestral instincts, are certainly more noetic than these elevated AHIs. Traditionalists have a better track record on self-governance, sustainable economic growth and development than these heirs of British Colonial Terrorists (BCTs). AHIs are fanatics who clamor to leave the boring village behind to serve on the more exciting bloodcurdling terrorist militias of The Evangelical State of Anglo-America (TESA) located in Accra and beyond.

Certainly, it is easy to see that these academico-AHIs who feel entitled to be in government, who feel that without them the country cannot exist and who want to run our lives, aren’t even rigorous computers. They run the country inexorably to decline. Whether it is education policy or economic policy or defense policy or law and order, they can’t tell the mean of one village from another. They cannot comprehend the meaning of the variance let alone the kurtosis. In fact, in their eyes, anecdotes are more scientific than real mathematics.

For instance, if one technician came to Ntoaboma and saw men sunbathing under coconut trees at two after noon, he would report back to the militia headquarters in a lengthy hundred-page dissertation, written in English, that the men in Ntoaboma are lazy. He will never ask the men in Twi or Ewe why they sleep at two after noon. He will never find out that these men are fishermen and are usually out fishing at night. No. Rather, since the village is too hot and humid, he must drive away quickly, back to Accra where the Ocean wind blows. He must drive back in his government-issued gas guzzling V8 Toyota Land Cruiser paid for by the blood and toil of the same Ntoaboma men he’s forever labelled otiose.

These are the AHIs who rule our country. These are the AHIs who want to nudge us into “modern” behavior, like driving around an ozone depleting, global warming, noise polluting, Ocean oil spilling and tax payer money-wasting modernity like a Land Cruiser. It doesn’t end there. Much of what they do in Accra for their lords in Washington is to classify those of us who dare to commune with the village as “backward” and to brand our style of communication as “vernacular” or “irrational,” or with some such category indicating our deviation from their technically prescribed Arcanum protocols. This comes from their misunderstanding of the information science about who they are, what they are and what they shall yet become. They mistake the whole for the linear combination of the neatly diced constituent parts.

The AHI in Ghana is a product of colonial terrorism. He frequents a restaurant that serves pepper soup but does not know where pepper comes from—probably from a “plant” in Burkina Faso, he thinks. He cuts Human Beings open in a surgical ward, to patch them back together, but cannot catch a cock on a festive Homowo day, pour libation, cut the head off, defeather it in hot water, roast it over fire, cut off the legs, wings, open the breast plate and fling the insides open for his own family to gather around a tiny feast. But he cuts people open every day at Korle Bu Teaching Hospital with a survival rate of only three percent.

The number of these AHIs has been accelerating since the mid-twentieth century, to reach its local supremum today, along with their staunch students who have been invading every part of our traditional African lives. Why? The Anglo-American Empire continues to give them “modern” trifles —degrees, national and internal corporate office jobs, rifles, machine guns and bullets—while they insist that our old traditions of musket making be banned while farming and fishing be done with GMOs alone. So the size of the government of AHIs in Accra has grown to about twenty times from what is was in the 1960s (expressed in percentage of GDP).

Of course, our universities continue to churn out more and more AHIs and their presence in our lives seems more ubiquitous. But they still are a small minority that is rarely spotted outside specialized outlets such as think tanks, embassies, NGOs, television stations, universities, ministries and the passport office—most people have proper vocations outside Accra and there are not many openings for these air-condition-seeking AHIs.

Beware of the AHI who thinks he is an erudite. He fails to naturally detect the trickery and cunning of TESA because he is the embodiment of it.

The AHI has been copiously programmed to patholigize everything from the village, even food from the village. Instead of Kokonte (made from dried cassava) and freshly smoked tilapia infused with ground fresh pepper and salt, he now straddles around Accra looking for the new KFC or McDonald’s joint, newly erected by TESA, for food that is made from meat grown in actual labs. He doesn’t understand without ever realizing that it is his understanding of diabetes and heart disease that is limited. While he sucks on his cold extra-large Coca-Cola straw, he thinks people should act according to their best interests and he knows what these interests are, particularly if they cannot speak English. When villagers do something that makes sense to them, but not to him, the technician uses the term “uneducated.” What we generally refer to as participation in the political process that TESA ultimately controls, he calls by two distinct designations: “democracy” when it fits the protocol, and “populism” when the villagers dare voting in a way that contradicts his memorized protocol.

While the Clinton Foundation believes in one tax dollar one vote, and villagers in Ghana in one man one vote, Monsanto in one lobbyist one vote, the AHI believes in one university degree one-vote, with some equivalence for foreign elite schools and PhDs as these are needed in the club.

More socially, the AHI is on Facebook. He watches the Clinton News Network, aka CNN, regularly. He subscribes to the Washington Post and The New York Times. He never insults anyone on twitter. He speaks of the “equality of genders” and “economic growth” but never can be expected to drink “Apio” or Palm Wine with the cocoa farmer who puts the money in his deep pockets. Those AHIs with a little bit of discipline have written one fiction book or another about the terrible plebeians that share a country with them. They have attended some TEDx talk in person or even made a TED talk. Not only did the AHI support Hillary-Monsanto-Malmasion because she seemed electable and some such secular reasoning, but he holds that anyone who didn’t do so is deplorable.

Typically, the AHI understands linear combinations but not complex higher order models of complicated issues. He is totally incompetent, only seeing straight lines everywhere on a curve without knowing that they are instantaneous. In the comfort of his tablet connected to a tiny internet receiving gadget by WIFI, he too supports the decision by TESA and advocated the “removal” of Gaddafi by Obama and Hillary because Gaddafi was a “dictator,” not realizing that removals have consequences. He feels that men should be able to use women’s bathrooms and vice versa but still thinks that Weed is bad for both, except medical marijuana, which only George Soros’ company must grow and sell. The AHI is more concerned about what’s between his own legs than what is for dinner in his mother’s village.

For this reason the AHI is always wrong. The problems he solves have nothing to do with real life but they are given to him by TESA to solve anyways. He cracks his forged brain that has been beautifully tuned in the classrooms of TESA, to solve useless problems at the back of the book, correctly. He is always wrong in applying his inoperable solutions to cassava farming, to cocoa production, to GMOs, to gold mining, to oil production, to Libya, to the village, to urban planning, to diabetes, to obesity, to housing projects, to the IMF, to the World Bank, and traditional religions. But he is convinced that his is correct.

The AHI has flown once or twice or more to London, to New York City, to Washington. He is a member of the club and so has some traveling privileges; he gets to sit in first class, sometimes, drinks red wine with cheese, eats uncooked meat and learns how it’s called: Steak Tartare. The AHI wears an expensive watch so he knows what time it is although he doesn’t know how the minute came to be divided into sixty seconds.

He certainly does not speak vernacular although he was born and bred at home with it every morning and night. If he already speaks English, he’s learning French. If he already speaks French, he’s learning Chinese. If he’s already fluent in Chinese, he is learning Japanese; he spots a sweaty tie over a pot belly not understanding that he belongs to a different climate and he has a sibling or cousin who worked with someone who knows the president. He has never drank to the point when one starts breaking brooms, fanning oneself with papa (used for fanning fire in the village) and drinking the bathwater behind the house; he doesn’t know that there’s no difference between him and the agents of the CIA boss who landed in Ghana when Kwame Nkrumah was overthrown; he has mentioned the CIA, Mossad, KGB and such high class clandestine organizations at least twice in the past year alone in geopolitical conversations that had nothing to do with the security of his grandmother’s village.

But the AHI doesn’t even know what at any point in time his words or actions are doing to his reputation. He is oblivious to what TESA thinks of him. But a much easier marker: he never drinks Akpeteshie.

All of this to say that the poor traditionalist who is struggling in the village of our Ancestors has no hope except to fall to his knees and pray that Allah delivers him and his progeny from the sea of these anencephalus homunculus intellectuals.