There’s a growing trend among some men to peddle polygamy like a revolutionary idea—as if they deeply understand it or have truly lived it. One recent example is Chris-Vincent Agyapong, who claimed that “women often lived contentedly together under one roof.” His statement compelled me to ask: Who are these content women? Where are their stories? Can someone introduce me to even one woman who lived with co-wives and found the arrangement fulfilling?
I’ve heard nothing.
And I suspect I won’t.
Because much of what is said today in defense of polygamy—especially on social media—is just content without context. Polygamy is romanticized by men chasing likes, not backed by lived experience or real evidence.
Let’s be clear: The societies that historically practiced one man, one wife defeated and outpaced those where wealthy men used their resources not to build institutions or communities, but to hoard women. Rather than form alliances with other men to invent, build, and protect society, they spent their strength and wealth on self-gratification. That we must now use the colonial language of English to discuss these failures is, frankly, a painful irony.
The Power of Brotherhood
One of the transformative, if controversial, features of Western patriarchy was its emphasis on fraternity. Wealthy men often surrounded themselves with a network of competent men—each with their own wives, families, and support systems. These men didn’t just accumulate wealth; they distributed opportunity. They sustained entire communities.
Compare this with the wealthy patriarchs of traditional polygamous societies. Many squandered their wealth on personal indulgence. They led not other men, but households full of wives—wives who, too often, resented them. These leaders failed to build generational structures that could withstand time or pressure.
Yes, polygamy may have once made sense in agrarian economies where children equaled labor and social capital. But in today’s world, large families can become liabilities, not assets. Wealth is no longer tied to reproductive quantity but to intellectual, technological, and cooperative productivity. And yet, many men have not made this shift.
Even where religion permits polygamy, it does not encourage it. That’s a crucial distinction often ignored.
The METHA Man
Enter the METHA—the Mis-Educated Than His Ancestors—a term I use to describe a new kind of African man. He is often proudly online, quick to defend outdated systems he barely understands. He is unable to grasp the demands of the modern world, and yet he loudly proclaims his right to dominate it.
This man romanticizes primitive models of masculinity—particularly polygamy—even as he contributes little to the infrastructure of the society he inhabits. Worse, by encouraging the wealthiest among us to monopolize young women, he contributes to a growing problem: surplus bachelors.
These unmarried, unwanted men will eventually have no emotional or social stake in the societies built to exclude them. And when that day comes, they will not revolt. They will simply leave. They will exit.
A Call to Modern Brotherhood
Stop reading nonsense. Stop idealizing half-baked takes from the manosphere or recycled fantasies of polygamy from men chasing clicks. Value yourselves. Value the men around you.
Understand that in the modern world, sustainable wealth and power are built not through sexual conquest, but through collaborative brotherhood.
Today’s great men build companies. Teams. Communities. They surround themselves with men, not mistresses. They raise children who respect them—not resent them. They leave legacies—not liabilities.
Ah 😂 I thought we woman rather needed polygamy because we are plenty and more than men?
Most of these guys who talk about polygamy are parroting Kevin Samuels talking points, which they are not intelligent enough to even comprehend. They know this kind of stuff garners large readership/clicks. Basically, these are guys enjoying Serial Dating of multiple women. They think this is akin to polygamy. They will find out when they actually settle their dicks down and marry, the amount of work it take to maintain a family. Talk is cheap.
Your search will be easier found in Zongo areas.
Chris is only trying to justify his escapades. I’m shocked that some men ardently support his views on polygamy hook, line and sinker.
I think you don’t also know what you’re saying either cos my father has two wives and my mom is the older one, they are still alive though, now i was raised by my step mom whom i don’t like using the word step mother cos yes is a mother. Two of her daughters are raised by my mom and the last born is still there. We all leave under one roof till my Dad got work at another Town very far from us, our mothers decided and my dad told me this, they decided that they will not let him stay that place alone cos he don’t like outside food n her clothes needs to be washed so my step mother was sent there to be with my dad, they just called him and told him their decision and the next day they both went there n my mother return back. My step mom never send her kids there, and they were two girls and were 4, 2boys2girls. When my step mom got pregnant there around her 7moths, she asked me instead of all the 4 girls we have in the house including her own child, why because i have my dad character, i love kids and know how to make them comfortable cos she saw how i treat my siblings in though especially the kids. I was JSS3 about to finish school so they quickly make an arrangement for a new in that town and i went to classes with and came back to wrote my exams, after jss, i leaved there still i finished SHS, her children and my mom comes to visiting and she mostly go there.
I have never seen them fighting cos everything is ours, we don’t have some a sibling can claimed is his or her bought by our parents never. They made us understand that what unity and love is. Now the Four Ladies have one business and they always try to push it together, i and my 3 brothers also have something small we are doing and we get most support from our elder sister, we are 7 in numbers, 4 ladies 3 boys
Hey, good for you. Please inbox my your step mothers and your mothers phone numbers. I want to hear this from them. Thank you!
So imagine if there was hatred in that polygamy, we will still unite till now and now our Parents leaves under one Roof. The last time i went home, is my step mother who took care of my feeding till the time i left to Takoradi, by mom was there in the same house and there’s no day my has said anything negative against our step mom and child never, my mom will be like pls don’t disturb me, your mother is the one sitting there, go and disturb her, she will entertain this n don’t come to my kitchen cos i don’t have any food for u, she will cook for u till u go and we all laugh and truthful, my mom and i will eat the food my step moms cooks. They our source of humanity’s
My Mom is a Community Relation Officer working SOCFINAF and my Step mom is Professional Midwife. Life is good with the foundation you lay
Egya Ahkini don’t mind him, I’ve seen it myself when I went back home, most of the story buildings were built by men.
Please inbox me your mother’s and your step mum’s phone numbers. I want to hear it from them.
I can’t do that without their permission and also right to answer cos am leaving within it
Very deep and contemplative submission. Thx Narmer
There has never been lack of women but men. If you go back into time, polygamy was a norm and it has many benefits. Those who were single were the lazy ones who naturally no woman will be attracted to. I know a lot of hardworking women who are still looking for men but I can tell you most men are in a relationship of some sort or have baby mamas. Polygamy is not two or more wives but having one wife and multiple partners as well.
You can take one and deal with the nonsense that comes with it or take more and deal with the financial issues that arises.
If you haven’t tried it don’t condemn it
Kwasi Boahen My friend, it seems it may have occurred to you that I speak from experience? You are dead wrong! My point is that you are better off using your monies to support a camaraderie of men with health families besides yours! That’s the wealth!
Too much money talks. You can only consider or practice polygamy if you have too much money.
If polygamy was not good, why did King Solomon practice polygamy.
Money makes the world go round, so if you have more money you can do anything you want and even be President like Trump.
Do you know Donald Trump’s freakish fantasy is to sleep with his friend’s wives 😅😅😅
Kofi Passport and you believe Solomon existed? You also fall for the baloney that a fictional character had many wives in addition to numerous concubines?
Axel Wiseman In your wisdom and your Facebook name you don’t believe King Solomon existed. That is your choice, maybe that is what the #Wisemen you know taught you
Axel Wiseman keep what you know, and let me keep what I know
Axel Wiseman forgive him 😂😂
Mabena Kunkpe Ansah he believes Santa Claus exist and believes Noah filled the ark with all the animals in world including cocroaches, ants, mosquitoes and even bacteria! He’s sincere and sure of his knowledge!
I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on polygamy: it’s clearly something you’re passionate about. That said, I have to push back respectfully. Your arguments frame polygamy (specifically polygyny) as inherently destructive and outdated, but history, modern practice, and even research show that it can work well for those involved, fostering stability, support, and growth rather than resentment or collapse. Allow me to break this down point by point.
1. WOMEN’S CONTENTMENT IN POLYGAMOUS HOUSEHOLDS
The claim that no woman in a polygamous household is content is simply untrue. Across many cultures, women have reported happiness and fulfilment in such arrangements. In parts of Africa, co-wives often form strong bonds, sharing responsibilities and providing mutual emotional support—sometimes reducing the isolation that monogamous spouses may face when shouldering burdens alone. I’ve seen testimonies from women in Gambia describing their marriages as “very, very happy” because the system creates a built-in sisterhood and divides the load of household and child-rearing duties. Even in modern consensual polyamorous relationships, women often highlight enhanced communication, stronger emotional connections, and personal growth. Research also indicates that polygamous relationships can provide the same emotional and social benefits as monogamous ones, with durability and flexibility helping them adapt over time. To dismiss all of this as “nonsense for likes” is to ignore the lived experiences of many women who actively choose this path.
2. HISTORICAL STRENGTH OF POLYGAMOUS SOCIETIES
The idea that polygamous societies were “defeated and outsmarted” by monogamous ones doesn’t hold water. Many of the world’s most powerful empires practised polygyny while thriving for centuries. Ancient China’s emperors and nobles maintained multiple wives while driving vast achievements in governance, technology, and philosophy. The Ottoman Empire, which lasted over 600 years, used polygamous marriages to forge alliances, expand territories, and foster cultural advancements. African kingdoms such as the Zulu and Ashanti strengthened social and economic networks through polygyny. Even biblical figures like King Solomon presided over prosperous eras despite maintaining large households. These societies were not “primitive” or wasteful—they were strategic, using marriage to create alliances, secure lineages, and build wealth. The dominance of English today owes far more to colonial violence and economics than to marriage structures.
3. ECONOMICS AND RESOURCE-BUILDING
The argument that wealthy men in polygamous systems “squander” resources overlooks how polygamy can actually multiply wealth creation. In many cultures, multiple wives contribute directly to household economics—through farming, trading, or entrepreneurship—leading to greater stability and productivity. Contemporary examples also show polygamous families benefiting from pooled incomes, shared risk, and division of labour that frees time for ambition and innovation. In many cases, these large households function almost like companies: shared resources, specialised roles, and wider networks that benefit not only the family but the community. In difficult times—wars, famines, or high male mortality—polygamy has historically provided social continuity, replenished populations, and turned large families into assets rather than burdens.
4. FAMILY SIZE AND CHILDREN’S WELLBEING
Viewing large polygamous families as “liabilities” in modern society is too narrow. Multiple caregivers often mean children receive more attention, guidance, and support, leading to potentially better social and emotional outcomes. Higher fertility rates can also counter population declines in ageing societies, while genetic diversity from broader unions may yield healthier offspring. Religions such as Islam have long allowed (and at times encouraged) polygamy precisely for its practical benefits—such as caring for widows and orphans—demonstrating its adaptability to changing contexts.
5. THE BACHELORHOOD CONCERN
The notion that polygamy leaves men resentful and disengaged assumes a zero-sum game where wealthy men “hoard” all the women. In reality, practising societies often balance this with cultural norms: younger men marry later, or systems of support ensure community stability. Historically, these societies did not collapse under bachelor revolts; instead, they fostered solidarity and collective goals. In modern consensual polygamy and polyamory, it’s about free choice—not hoarding. People enter these arrangements willingly, often building stronger networks and deeper communities. In fact, forcing monogamy on those unwilling to embrace it may breed more resentment than voluntary polygamy ever could.
IN CONCLUSION
Romanticising monogamy as the only path to progress overlooks the ways polygamy has built empires, empowered women, and created resilient families. True respect for human dignity means recognising diverse paths to fulfilment—whether monogamous or not. What matters is consent, equity, and evidence, not blanket dismissals.
So, my dear friend, Narmer, what do you think?
G Kofi Mude Thanks for sharing. These are insightful rebuttals. Nonetheless, the reality that some wealthy men in any society command and entertain the interests of dependent women can not be refuted. You are correct there. The wholesale prescription of polygamy/polygyny to men is a PROBLEM however. The social or socioeconomic stratification of men that brings about polygamy is still relevant and makes your point. Although an entirely new stratification of women has also emerged – from their natural/biological attributes to now approaching social and economic stratification akin to that for men. Today, a pretty woman can also be a medical doctor. Naturally, in a modern society in which women stratify socioeconomically, their divestiture from polygamous systems becomes obvious. Women no longer have to build wealth ans status through a polygamous home. This reality is hitting some men in the face as many of the men who used to be able to afford many women can no longer afford them. And most women who would have acquiesced to polygamy no longer have to share a wealthy husband with lower status women. More, these women no longer even have to entertain men who cannot afford them. When you observe the dialogue among men, it is not the wealthy men who already enjoy the largess of many beautiful women who insist on or even fancy the promotion of polygamy in modern society. It is the contrary. Most men in modern society cannot afford one wife, let alone more wives.
Narmer Amenutii,
What belies your disgust for polygamy?
Any personal story?
Kwaku Bio It is no disgust. This is only a critique. I have no issue with men who feel the need for it.
When an African man mentions polygamy they are trying to justify their infidelity, selfish interest, promiscuity and sexual indiscipline.
Know that and know peace.
Most of them don’t have the mental capacity, maturity and finance to be with multiple women.
Nwanne, will ranting against polygamy stop MONOGAMOUS husbands from having sidechicks or babymamas?
That’s CAMOUFLAGED POLYGAMY too o! But many of you don’t like to address it because deep down you know that your MONOGAMY can’t work without sidechicks and babymamas.
Let’s all continue speaking grammar and deceiving ourselves online while reality plays out before us. Lol.
Ngene John Of course. Doesn’t even matter what the system demands – monogamy or polygamy. Pick whatever. You still need Discipline. Monogamy has rules. Polygamy too has rules. The fact is that most men are lazy, especially most African men. They cannot subscribe to and follow any one discipline. They want a free for all. So they gallivant around, philandering like thieves and pirates, hopping from one mistress to the next so long as they can afford it. This is gross indiscipline.
Do you guys see the rise in the rate of divorce?
In my life as a Ghanaian who has stayed in Teshie my whole life, coming from a polygamous family, i endorse polygamy if you can afford it.
Its always single men with no potential to get a girlfriend who talks about polygamy.
Narmer , Your write-up is certainly passionate and creative, but it feels more like a personal narrative than a balanced critique. You’ve built a strong case around polygamy being the downfall of African masculinity and societal progress, but that’s a stretch.
Personally, I don’t advocate for polygamy, it’s not my preference. But I also don’t believe that its existence automatically prevents wealth creation or societal contribution. The Western model of wealth through cooperation is valid, but it doesn’t mean African men who choose polygamy are incapable of building wealth or leading meaningful lives.
You seem to be urging young men to be serious, goal-oriented, and visionary which I support. But blaming rich men for marrying younger women and linking that to the decline of courtship among African bachelors? That’s a leap. Marriage trends are shifting globally, and it’s not just an “African man” issue. Many men and women around the world are rethinking marriage and courtship altogether.
And the idea that bachelors will one day stop contributing to society because of “polygamy”? That’s dramatic. Let’s not turn personal concerns into universal truths.
We get your point, you want young African men to be responsible, innovative, and future-focused. But the channel you’re using to deliver that message feels exhausting. Young African men have been serious from day one. We’re not just trying to get a seat at the global table we’re building our own tables and sitting proudly.
Niiboi Quartey Thanks for the interesting critique. Although, I am not sure if this is only a critique of the essay or if you intend to also make a case for polygamy. Frankly, I don’t think you have or can make a case for polygamy. I agree with you that you and I “don’t advocate for polygamy.” It is a useless expense of energy.
If you oblige my interest in proving the frivolousness of polygamy, you could read what I believe is an objective deconstruction of the African Attitude towards wealth building here in my recent essay: The Metha: Trapped Between the Hut and the Boardroom.
My critique of the African Man’s Attitude to polygamy and wealth creation is a direct “assault” not on the youth, but on the well-to-do and the elders. I have lived in many villages in Southern Ghana, from the remotest places of Ntoaboma, to the outskirts of Sekondi-Takoradi to the farm hamlets of Teshie-Nungua before some of these places became Tse-Addo. I have witnessed, and I mean first hand, elders dipping their beaks into the dating pools of young men and forcing these men to abandon their villages.
That is my experience. Anecdotal? Yes. Still, you travel and you hear the same tired experiences of young men from many other parts of the country, of West Africa, of Africa and even of the African diaspora. The attitude of elders and the well-to-do men towards young men is cancerous. It doesn’t have to be.
My point is that young men are assets. Many wives and children for one wealthy man cannot generate quite the same amount of wealth for a village that an equal number of energetic young men can produce for that same village. The asset for any village is the 19 year old boy, young man, who has every energy imaginable, and who is willing to throw his body on the line for his own Ancestors. That is the asset. Why not have the elders invest their wealth in them. Not into more wives, not more mistresses, not more concubines.
This is my point. Do you not think it is a tad bit naive to believe that “young African men… are just trying to get a seat at the global table” and are building their own tables and sitting proudly? None of that is happening. That’s fantasy. But, it can become a reality if the elders begin to invest their wealth, and the wealth of the nation that they are so eager to steal, on the young man. Not on wives and concubines.
Narmer Amenuti
I understand your perspective more clearly now, and I appreciate the depth of your experience. But let’s revisit the “table” I mentioned.
The truth is, young Africans are building just not in ways that are always visible to the gatekeepers. Many older men and women with influence and resources are blocking the pace, whether intentionally or through neglect. It’s like when you request a ride on a transport app: the car seems still or sluggish on the screen, but when you zoom in, you realize it’s actually moving fast. That’s what’s happening with young Africans; we’re in motion, even if it’s not being recognized.
You and I can agree there’s still a lot to be done, but also a lot being done. We’ve come a long way, even while some of our leaders remain puppets to global powers. Despite that, we’re pushing forward.
So yes, I hear you. And I hope you hear me too.
Finally, we can’t dictate how the rich and powerful use their money. Of course, investing in the youth would be ideal especially those willing to sacrifice for the betterment of all. But ultimately, it’s their decision whether they’ll use their wealth to uplift others or not.
It’s not a fantasy.
Anyway, the MORMONS, as a badge of honour, practise POLYGAMY.