Despite what would seem like a dynamic duo of Djimon Hounsou and Kevin Bacon, Elephant White is all guns and bullets, but no real fire power.
Filmed in Bangkok, Thailand, Elephant White follows Curtie Church (Hounsou), an assassin hired by a Thai businessman to avenge the murder of his daughter and take out a Thai sex-trafficking gang. And that’s about as deep as the story goes.
It’s along the lines of Bangkok Dangerous (2008) or Taken (2008), but the story and characters are seriously underdeveloped. Taken had a motive: a father going after his kidnapped daughter. But we don’t know anything about Church’s background. We don’t know why he kills. How he learned to kill. Where he’s from. (I’m assuming he’s not from Thailand since he’s the only African in the movie.) The most we learn about Curtie Church is his name and month and day of birth, which has about zero relevance to our understanding of his intentions.
Sniping suits through open windows, Curtie Church is a one-man killing machine with an obsession with guns. Landing almost every shot, he might be the most accurate assassin in action movie history. In hand-to-hand combat, he annihilates every opponent with punchy sound effects. But since Hounsou is no martial artist, Thai filmmaker Prachya Pinkaew’s English language debut can’t benefit from the same stunts as Ong-bak (2003) or Chocolate (2008), although it tries.
But back to the characters… The bad guys are simply gun-toting caricatures. In one particular scene, no less than twenty men have their weapons trained on one target. And no real chemistry ever develops between Church and his spiritual side-kick Mae (Pitakporntrakul), which makes it hard to understand the impassioned emotion expressed during their “heartfelt” moment.
Besides a few ticking clocks and choppy shifts between day and night (mostly night), we can’t tell if we’re coming or going or how much time has passed.
Although there is nothing thrilling about the film, it is never unwatchable. And that is commendable. Visually, the film benefits from the Thai scenery and brief injections of Thai culture like the initiation of a monk. There’s enough blood without being too gory. The variety in shots and camera angles and the subtitles also sustain interest.
An action thriller with elements of supernatural and fantasy (levitation and fairy dust), Elephant White straddles genres. Though perhaps it should have settled on comedy. One chase scene shows characters jumping onto slow-moving vehicles and trampling over people in lawn chairs. The ruthless gun dealer (Bacon) is into men’s fashion. Church’s shiny forehead constantly drips profusely with sweat.
And Church does something I rarely see any action hero do. He eats. Through Identity, Supremacy, and Ultimatum, I don’t recall Bourne ever breaking bread. Church also takes time out of his busy killing spree to shop for women’s clothing.
In light of these scenes, maybe Elephant White could have worked brilliantly as an action spoof. Instead, it relied on guns to power the story and ran short of ammunition.
[sws_blue_box box_size=”580″]Genre: Action | Thriller
Director: Prachya Pinkaew
Writer: Kevin Bernhardt
Starring: Kevin Bacon, Djimon Hounsou, and Jirantanin Pitakporntrakul
On DVD: 17 May 2011 [/sws_blue_box]
LMAO! This is funny. Are you sure it’s not a comedy?
For real? I just finished watching this and you are dead on balls right about that. It’s funnier than it’s serious. Guess what, he was not only eating, he was eating Chinese food – two spoonfuls and then the ghost girl appears and he just drops the food, we never see the food again. Nothing on the floor, nothing! This movie, ah ah ah, it’s something else. I don’t know why Hounsou keeps making these movies. It always feels weird and I don’t quite understand why?
Increíble! I love this review!
You claim the movie is only about an assassin hired by a Thai businessman to avenge the murder of his daughter and take out a Thai sex-trafficking gang. And that’s about as deep as the story goes?
Here’s the fine twist to this fine piece of cinema so expertly crafted by Prachya and solidly delivered by Hounsou: The guy who hired Church to kill the leader of the child trafficking gang, was heir to the throne. He felt his position was threatened that’s why he hired Church to get close to his father then he could kill Church and win back his father’s heart and thus secure his position as the next boss.
I think that’s quite a movie!
I vehemently agree with all of your reviews. This movie is in a league of it’s own-its a legit shit show! However, there are a few things that have not yet been mentioned. First, whose idea was it for Kevin Bacon to be a Brit with an Australian accent? He must be strapped for cash, if he had any amount of dignity he wouldn’t have taken this role.
The drawn out fight scene with the pixie dust, was it all just a pleasant dream?
Okay, and the thing that was probably most annoying, was the fact that getting shot with a .50 caliber sniper rifle was less devastating than getting nicked with a .9 mm. Any idiot who has ever visited YouTube knows that when a person gets shot with a 50 cal, there’s not a whole lot of body left to look at. It basically explodes on contact. Thats the main reason I even watched this pile of kitty litter! I wanted to see some Thais getting blown to bits by a beautiful rifle! This sorry excuse for an action movie couldn’t even do that.
I guess nobody did the research on that 50 caliber sniper rifle, and you’re right, his accent was really off. More reasons why it didn’t hold up to expectation 🙁