Ghana-Nigeria Movies & Zack Orji’s Beard

Most Ghana–Nigeria movies are so bad, one finds oneself entertained merely by how bad they are. And this is no attempt to impugn all the effort and hard work that probably goes into making them. They are just bad movies! In some of the films, there are obvious attempts to make a quick buck at our expense. Why do I watch them? I have no choice. I cannot watch foreigners all the time – and that, unfortunately, appears to be why they are getting away with it.

For how long can one endure the dreary jokes of Agya Koo for instance? Give the guy his due – he is naturally funny and has done well for himself. But the idea that merely employing his services and getting him to rely on his spontaneity and talking all the time is enough to sell a movie is creative laziness. The guy can play funny roles alright, but he needs help. The stories have got to be well- written and his role properly streamlined while giving him some room to improvise every now and again.

Realistically, do our rich people always live in spanking new mansions with just basic furniture and with nothing ever out of place? Not even a newspaper on the centre table? Are their bedrooms always so spotlessly clean? Surely an occasional crumpled sheet or a shirt hanging on a chair would not be unusual. Basically, however rich a person is, a house has got to look “lived-in” rather than a hired empty house. And for goodness sake, our rich people are not always impeccably groomed when they are at home.

The least said about the quality of acting, the better. But the acting is bad mainly because the directors probably do not have the ability to get the best out of the actors. A good director can make a bad actor look good and a good actor, brilliant. Our film directors are probably well-trained and qualified, but unfortunately, this does not reflect in our films.

Our artistes ought to take some responsibility for upgrading themselves, researching well for their roles and generally maintaining high professional standards. In preparing for his role in “The Last King of Scotland”, Forest Whitaker went to live in Uganda for months to not only learn Swahili, but also to pile on the pounds to attain the same body weight as Idi Amin. Of course I know he is paid millions to perform, compared with the pittance our actors receive and this comes with a responsibility to perform to the best of his professional expertise. There is absolutely no comparison. But how much would it cost to shave off Zack Orji’s “designer beard” for example?

Zack Orji is a good versatile Nigerian actor. I have seen him play a loving father, a businessman, a rogue, a chief and even a madman. I wonder, though, how many madmen walking the streets the way he was in his film, have “designer beards”. Allowing facial hair to grow for a couple of weeks or shaving it off would not cost a penny, but it would definitely enrich the film. Zack Orji has the same “designer beard.” It is not all about money.

The “Lord of the Rings” comprises three separate films that cover one very long story. The genius of the directing is in the fact that each film, though a part of a trilogy has a life of its own. Each one is a complete enjoyable film, though the three films fit together perfectly in the end. The habit of carelessly interrupting a film anywhere with “To God Be the Glory, Look out for Part 2” is as annoying as it is dishonest. It is dishonest because, you would have been sold half a film for the price of one, so you would be compelled to buy the part 2 which would be a quarter film, with the other quarter consisting of recollections from the first part.

Taking part in sex scenes in films is not “by force.” If you are not comfortable with it, don’t do it. Don’t take the part. It takes extraordinary acting skills and careful camera arrangement for two people to convincingly pretend to be having sex when they are not. Anyone who has watched Halle Berry in “Monster’s Ball” would testify to that. It looks so bad when the actress appears embarrassed by the scene. And in any case, we don’t have to have sex scenes if we are not going to do it properly. There are so many other ways of implying same.

The degree of copying from foreign movies is sad, to say the least. So for instance, when I watch Kofi Adjorlolo in “Royal Battle”, I do not expect to see an African King with a tiger on his shoulder. I do not expect to see scantily clad girls throwing petals at his feet. This was an imaginative American writer’s portrayal of kingship in Africa in “Coming to America.” He had the right to do so. It’s called poetic license. The shades of mockery therein are nevertheless, obvious to all. How inappropriate then, that Africans, who should be able to paint a better picture of their own society should resort to copying what the Americans did. Even the theme music was copied. Apart from being downright illegal, it reflects a certain lack of artistic sophistication that is insulting to the intelligence of the Ghanaian film lover.

We have not made any effort to come to terms with the simple technicalities of film-making. The sound in our movies is so bad that one often has to turn to the maximum volume to hear anything at all and woe betide you then if you absent-mindedly turned to another channel. There would be a momentary frantic fumble as everybody dashed for the remote control to bring the volume down. Worse still, there is sometimes a delay in the sound so one only hears what an actor has said after they have fallen off to sleep.

Apparently in an effort to cut costs, some film-makers in Ghana and Nigeria employ the services of a guy who writes a few verses for the whole film and then plays them repeatedly on a keyboard and sings them all himself in a rather horrible irritating voice. Sure, there must be hundreds of budding musicians in Ghana who would love their music to be on film for next to nothing. Musicians are actually paying payola to get their music played on radio. Would they not jump at an opportunity to have their music played in a film?

Even for the biggest films, I read recently, the sound engineers often pick their personal recorders and go out to record sound effects themselves. It does not cost anything. So you could sit under a tree and record birds singing or go to the market to record the market sound. These sound effects could then be used in the movie at no costs. Our movies are devoid of sound effects except for the whining “hweew” sound when a ghost disappears.

We are not doing the simple things right. Good film makers can make reasonably good films within budget constraints. A gentleman once thought of making a film. Having been afraid of ghosts all his life, he decided to counter his fears by making a scary movie. He used an ordinary camera and his own home for the filming. But he had researched the subject matter for a whole year. The result was “Paranormal Activity”, a film made with $15000 but which glossed $135,000,000 in the box office. It can be done. All we need is a little bit more imagination and creativity.